Terret
| Real name | |
|---|---|
| Alias(es) | Tret Tarret terret2.0 Little T Robwijn Scumbag Oetker |
| Location on the globe | The Armpit of India |
| Main platform | Discord (never on mic) |
| Papa flerf | Nathan Oakley Quantum Eraser Roger Ledwell Mikey Smith Mushelly (current) |
| Flerfzi? | not yet confirmed |
| Religiflerf? | Naw |
| Incel? | Only when not fapping to Mushelly's haggish voice |
| Drinks urine? | not yet confirmed |
| Adopted by | Flerf Whisperer |
| Teeth | unphotographed |
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|
Terret is a chat-only satellite flerf. He does not present a model of the earth. He presents a model of whoever will let him hold the wrench, in order: Nathan Oakley, Quantum Eraser, Roger Ledwell, Mikey Smith, and currently Mushelly — plus a standing reservation on Mushelly's long streams, talking to himself on multiple accounts.
English terret is the metal ring on a harness that a leash clips to. The name is doing a lot of work.
He has never been heard on voice. He has never been seen arguing geometry. What he has been seen doing is fighting other flerfs, collecting other people's family photos, and posting "CLOSE ENOUGH" memes of people who did not ask to be in them.
Flerf-on-flerf
Terret's entire career is sitting in someone else's chat and treating the host as a papa. When the papa looks away, the satellite starts a war.
Arwijn
Not on the current papa list, but the origin story. Arwijn gave him manager-level mod — the highest he had given anyone — and called him "his Indian friend." Terret paid that back by filling Arwijn's chat with NoFap progress reports: streak length, how long he could last, testosterone turning into estrogen, jumping four steps on a staircase. Arwijn had to tell him to stop.
The friendship ended the usual flerf way. Arwijn was in his Owen Benjamin era. Ugly generalities about Indians were brought up. Terret lost it. Arwijn exploded back: stop pulling more crap out of my mouth. Then Terret called someone a "white boy" in that chat, and when the old Local-server owner sided against him, Terret called that man a "dirty Jew." Arwijn banned him on the spot and opened the next show talking about how upset he was that Terret was racist in chat.
A metal ring does not get to lecture the harness.
Oakley
Nathan Oakley is the first name on the list for a reason. When a chair opens at Oakley's table, Terret fits. The "argument," such as it is, is Oakley's mantra plus "you don't know math / geometry" on loop. Once: "it's a geoid." Geoids are not flat. Nobody knows what he thought he said.
Quantum Eraser
Quantum Eraser is the next wrench. Same satellite job: someone else's dogma, someone else's chat, Terret's socks. If Oakley is the mantra, QE is the adjacent pulpit. Terret does not bring a model. He brings attendance.
Ledwell
Roger Ledwell is on the papa list for the same reason everyone else is: a stream existed and Terret needed a host. The wrench changed hands. The satellite did not.
Mikey
Mikey Smith got the goat treatment. Terret plays live wingman on Mikey's stream: counting cars ("478 cars have passed Mikey"), a stolen bit of the globber counter culture. He mods. He has talked Mikey into restoring a wrench after it was pulled. He also bans people who donate, which is an innovative way to help a papa's superchat.
Mushelly calls Mikey a PDF. Terret calls Mikey the goat. Terret is Mushelly's best friend. The geometry of that triangle is below.
Mushelly
Current papa. Mushelly (Holly, Sandy Crater) is the same playbook with a different nameplate — attach to a group, grab a role, feel powerful. He is "always there" on her hours-long streams, cheering orbital-speed one-liners ("big numbers scary") from several of his own accounts at once.
The hypocrisy is the joke that writes itself. Mushelly calls Mikey Smith a PDF. Terret calls Mikey the goat. Terret is Mushelly's best friend. When that circle is pointed out, her alleged reply is that everyone is a hypocrite. True, perhaps. Rarely this geometric.
Originality
Someone in The Lolcow made a terretwijn account. Terret answered with Robwijn. RogerThat called him Lit'T. He started calling them Little Rob. Max taught him the word coprophagia; Terret now uses it back. ICSpin's "ankle biter" comes back at ICSpin. Then he complains that globbers copy him.
Conversations with three of his own socks in one chat are a regular feature. Impersonation of anyone with a voice is the rest of the kit — several socks for Roger That, the same for Charlie Welch.
Permanently banned from Worldwide Debates and Earth Awakenings. The stated reason from the people who had to keep kicking him was not "being a flerf." It was being impossible to have in a server.
Doxing
Public faces get memed. That is the game. Terret's version of the game is hunting families and then acting surprised when the people attached to those families stop being friends with him.
He was close enough to Roger That, during the Arwijn year, to be told a few things about Roger's life. When it blew up, some of that material got recirculated. That is not a debate tactic. That is a filing cabinet.
The Discord side of the same hobby is a dox chain recited as a flex:
Scumbag Oetker — Bismarck pfp, same wars Terret is known for — in all caps: if you had a double-digit IQ you would know Robwijn doxed Jendude who doxed Lil Robwijn. HarNold's reply ("Coward") could not be delivered. Clyde, at least, has standards.
The accompanying visual aid is the "CLOSE ENOUGH" format: a pixelated private photo next to a public face, captioned as if resemblance were a punchline, then a request to forward it into BTH and "spread this everywhere its fucking hilarious." This wiki will not show that image. It is doxing. Describing the caption is enough; reproducing the private photo is the thing being documented.
When globbers screenshot an empty cubicle, Terret invents the least charitable reading and pushes it as fact (library rented to fake a job, welfare on loop, three screens means unemployed). When the subject is his filing cabinet of other people's kids, the reading is left as an exercise.
A well-stocked camera roll
Terret's rhetorical kit is calling other people PDF. His camera roll is… adjacent.
He has posted, in Mikey Smith's chat, about Roger That's daughters, then denied posting it. The daughters were underage — early teens — at the time. He has made the same kind of comment to a second person, same topic. The most recent specimen was a pixelated Christmas photo of Roger That's son, still a minor when the picture was taken, posted into someone else's Discord. Roger's question, which this wiki will not improve upon: he does not know why Terret has images of minors on his phone.
This page is not going to host those pictures.
A five-year-old has also been in the blast radius, via Terret and Mushelly, because some people do not have a setting between "insult the person on camera" and "insult the child." This wiki insults the person on the page. The children stay off it.
Make of the hobby what you will. Just maybe don't lend him the family Dropbox.
Flat earth, such as it is
He has never presented evidence for a flat earth. Method: ridicule of things he does not understand.
Documented "arguments":
- "You don't know math / geometry." That is the whole kit.
- Nathan Oakley's mantra, recited.
- "It's a geoid."
- Freemasons, pedophiles, fake Israel. That is not a shape argument. That is garnish.
If you cannot defend the position, the charitable reading is that you like to fight. The uncharitable reading is the same sentence without the charity.
Comics
A man who will not go on mic now has a comic book. Issue 1: he prints a Dolly Parton passport, flies Delhi to New York in a blonde wig that forgot the mustache, and steals the funeral flowers. The rest of the series lives at Terret Comics.